‘Then you can breathe long as you don’t inhale’

Smoke from forest fires in Minnesota and Canada sweeping into New England.

If you visit American city,
You will find it very pretty.
Just two things of which you must beware
Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!

Pollution, pollution!
They got smog and sewage and mud.
Turn on your tap
And get hot and cold running crud!

See the halibuts and the sturgeons
Being wiped out by detergeons
Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly
But they don't last long if they try.

Pollution, pollution!
You can use the latest toothpaste
And then rinse your mouth
With industrial waste.

Just go out for a breath of air
And you'll be ready for Medicare.
The city streets are really quite a thrill
If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.

Pollution, pollution!
Wear a gas mask and a veil
Then you can breathe
Long as you don't inhale!

Lots of things there that you can drink
But stay away from the kitchen sink.

The breakfast garbage that you throw into the Bay
They drink at lunch in San Jose.

So go to the city
See the crazy people there
Like lambs to the slaughter
They're drinking the water
And breathing (cough) the air. 

Lyrics for songwriter, performer and mathematician (including at Harvard and MIT) Tom Lehrer’s (1928-2025) song “Pollution,’’ written in 1965.